Dear Dra. Holmes:
Is it really that painful when having sex for the first time? I cannot help but to think about it always. I had several attempts to do it with my male friend but none are successful even when I was completely lubricated down there. He tried, I tried, he was gentle, he tried to be more insistent, but still nonthing happened.

Should I try again, maybe with another male friend, you think?
I wonder: Do all women have to go through this suffering before they can get to the enjoyable and pleasurable part of sex? Now I can imagine the kind of physical pain rape victims had to endure. Must be really awful and I cannot help thinking of it.

At this point, I don’t see why people love sex. And yet, I just can’t wait for my hymen to break so that I can finally find out how good sex should feel. I am 34 years old, btw. No boyfriend yet, but many friends who are willing to help me. No hormonal or biological issues as far as I know.
Thank you very much. I hope to hear from you at the soonest possible time.


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